Istantidbits IV

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More About Turkish Toilets
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When one needs to do Number Two, the Turks have a simple system to deal with the occasional skid mark. (Actually, unless your stool is as hard as a dog turd, there is always a skid mark; the toilets are made by a national monopoly, EGEseramik, and the base of the toilet does not line up with the human "nether throat.") To deal with this problem, every Turkish toilet is provided with a small plastic brush that is placed in a small plastic brush house that sits beside every Turkish sit-down toilet. When needed, one simply waits for the tank to refill while pulling up and refastening one's pants, then one flushes the toilet again while scrubbing away the skid mark. Simple + disgusting = simply disgusting, but a good life lesson: we all need to regularly scrub away the shit we have created.
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Parking Meters
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I have never seen an inanimate parking meter in Istanbul. As I have reported before, the parking here is as random and chaotic as the driving. So, when there is organized parking along the streets, it is handled by the Parking Meter Guys. These Guys (always men) wear a distinctive, all-weather uniform, and patrol a small beat, usually no longer than a single city block. They carry a device that records whenever a vehicle is parked in their turf. When the driver returns, the device has recorded how much time has expired, the required fee is paid, and a receipt issues from the device. Nifty system.
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Mall Security
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Anytime one goes to a large shopping mall in Istanbul, one must pass through a security system that resembles what one would find in a national airport. One must remove all metallic objects -- for me, coins, keys, and my ever-present mechanical pencil (Never Forget: choral musicians ALWAYS have a pencil). They also check automobile trunks.
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Guns at Lunch
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MEF International School has only two entrances, both manned by at least three armed guards 24/7. Every vehicle entering the campus is checked by these men. During the lunch hours, which are separated between Primary and Secondary schools, these armed guards sit and eat among the students. I find this obvious presence of weapons unsettling, but the children, innocent as birds, do not notice.
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Turkish Delight
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Ufuk = A local high school
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Fonetik Spelinj
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Bale = Ballet
Baraj = Barrage
Bulavar = Boulevard
Burjvazi = Bourgeoisie
Caz = Jazz
Cografy = Geography
Diyalog = Dialogue
Egzersiz = Exercise
Eksper = Expert
Esens = Essence
Frikik = Free Kick
Kokteyl Sosic = Cocktail Sausage
Koleksiyon = Collection
Oksijen = Oxygen
Opsiyon = Option
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Add/Change One Letter to a Turkish Word and What Do You Get?
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At = Horse; Ata = Father
Bashka = Other, Different; Bashkan = President
Bora = Hurrican; Boran = Trumpeter
Defile = Fashion Show; Define = Buried Treasure
Divan = Council of State; Divane = Crazy
Emek = Work; Emmek = Suck
Fen = Art; Fena = Awful
Hac = Pilgrimage to Mecca; Hace = Crucifix
Hasar = Loss; Hasat = Harvest
Haya = Testicle; Hayal = Imagination
Idrak = Intelligence; Idrar = Urine
Iflah = Improvement; Iflas = Bankruptcy
Ikrah = Disgust; Ikram = Honor
Istek = Wish; Istem = Demand
Kerim = Gracious; Keriz = Sucker
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Does Anyone Actually Read My Blog?
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I am struggling with the concept of "To and Fro." For instance, which direction is To? Left? Right? Up? Down? Diagonal? Zig-zag? Wibbeldy-wobbeldy? Obviously, Fro is To's opposite, but must To always come first? Is the concept of "Fro and To" even possible? Would this cause a space/time warp? I would appreciate your help.
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My inclination is that To is stage left. Am I right about that? But what if To is stage right? What's left? I don't have a clue. Do you? Because when one thinks about it, left is just left of right, and right is just right of left, and then we're just going around in a circle, clockwise or counter. So, what's left? Right?
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Don't you just LOVE philosophy?
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